Walking On The Path Less Traveled

Hello Beautiful People!

During your middle school years, you know how you are just starting to understand the world a bit more and all of a sudden you think you are grown and think you know everything? I was that kid too, too naïve to know better but also too mature to understand the lies. Back then, I wanted to fit in and be a part of the crowd, not knowing that in the "real world" I needed to stand out and go on the path less traveled if I wanted to have the life that I was always dreaming of. But man, once I figured it out, there was nothing holding me back.

I remember when this realization hit me, it was going into senior year of high school, when I thought like what am I doing with my life because I'm bored and I don't want to remember these days, years ahead and be disappointed or have no memories of me having a good time. It was like a switch that turned on and that year I did the most. I became friends with people I would have never thought I would be friends with, I joined clubs, I went horseback riding, I went skydiving, I got a tattoo, I got a piercing, and in-between a lot of memories made. I was simply the happiest, I've ever been.

After that summer was coming to a close and I was preparing to go away to college. I realized what I wanted out of my life. You might be thinking, girl you were only 18 what you knew about life, but I knew. I knew I wanted to leave my bad experiences of childhood in the past and start anew. I knew that I would probably make many mistakes in the future but they were going to be learning experiences, not regrets. I knew that my biggest fear in life wasn't spiders anymore, it is being 95 years old and on my death bed wishing that I took that risk, traveled to that foreign country, made friends with that stranger, danced the whole night away, fell in love, watched the sunrises/sunsets too many times, took the job, brought that house, got married the way I wanted, spent time with my family, raised a family, been totally involved in my children's lives, or found new ways of telling my husband I loved him, etc.

That is my nightmare and that's why I decided to take the path less traveled. It would have easier for me if I did listen to the doctors in the past telling me that I probably wouldn't be able to do much in life. Right now, I would probably be living with my momma, in my room watching nonsense on TV and being fed through a feeding tube not knowing that there's a whole big world out there to explore. I would probably still be happy because I know that my momma would have taken good care of me but I would have never know that a light shined in me so bright and that I had to share it with people. But thankfully instead, I graduated college, I have loving, supportive friends, I have explored a bit of the world (more to go! :)), I'm advocating for what I believe in, I'm showing society that there is nothing 'awful' about being disabled, I have an apartment in the city and I found that true, fairytale type of love I always prayed for. Being disabled and accomplishing what I want has been my biggest blessing. Also, deciding to walk the path less traveled has been nothing but rewarding, it has been tough but in the end, the feeling I get of "wow, I just did that" is priceless.

My biggest motto in life is "just do it" and "fuck it" and hope to God I did the right thing, if not I'm not going to regret it because in the moment it was exactly what I wanted. In life, in my opinion, it is all about learning from your experiences and doing better next time. The way I see it is why beat yourself up about it, if there's nothing you can do to change the past. I just accept what I did, reflect on it, fix it I can, and if I can't then just move on. I learned that self-guilt is dangerous, and not worth the pain. For me, forgiving others was easier than forgiving myself but I have made major improvements on that.

Many people have applaud me for the way I live my life and many people are still trying to understand the way my life, and all I have to say is that to each their own because everyone has their lives and they have the right to do whatever they want with them. I'm just going to keep on the path less traveled because if I am disabled for a reason then I'm going to make that reason count and worth it because I want to be remember as a disabled woman who actually did something, no matter if that something is big or small. I'm going to go on more adventures, I'm going to learn new things, I'm going to mess up a couples of times but hey that's life, and I'm going to be the one who stands out from the crowd. When I'm old and living my final days on Earth, I hope that I'm proud that I took the path less traveled, ignored people's unnecessary comments, holding my husband's of 70+ years hand, and say damn I did everything I could and a had really fun, fulling life.

When you pick what path you want to walk on, life becomes a little bit easier.

Thank you for reading!!

Feel free to leave questions and comments down below or on my Facebook page! And if you want me to talk about specific let me know too!

XO Ashley