It's Time To Be Real

Hello beautiful people!

Today I'm going to talk about something that I have not really open up to anyone about.

Social media and I have a love/hate relationship. The reasons why I love social media is because I get to connect with people and educate them regarding that I might be disabled but that doesn't stop me from having an amazing life. I also love it because I get to connect with people who are like me and talk about our similarities and differences and feed ideas off of each other. In addition to all of these things, I'll admit that it is nice to show off and brag a little about my life BUT I feel like I do that to kind of prove myself to able-bodied people that I can have a fun life too and that I'm not in bed all day contrary to the belief.

Now the reason I hate social media is because sometimes people get the wrong idea about why I'm posting what I am posting. Now I realize that I shouldn't care and to make it clear, I don't but I do want people to understand.

• Why do I post every time I go out and why is it always food or an alcoholic drink? There has been a few people that have jokingly said that I'm an alcoholic. Now before anyone comes at me, I completely understand that it is a harmless, funny joke and in the past I have use it as a joke too. But is it really harmless and funny? No. Alcoholism is a disease and it is so hard for people who are suffering from it to recover. Alcoholism runs close to my life, since I personally know people who suffered from it and I witnessed the side effects and I promised myself to always know my limit. I applaud all of the people suffering from alcoholism wanting to get better because it's one hell of a journey. So I don't approve of or appreciate anyone jokingly saying to anyone else that they are an alcoholic because at least for me it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong when in reality I'm just a regular 23 year old woman, in the city, living a good life, drinking socially with loved ones. I'm not sorry that I post a lot of stories of food or drinks because first of all, who doesn't like fancy food and second of all, like I've said before I want to convey to people that some individuals with disabilities can drink and be social, therefore society should be more accepting of us. We are not as innocent as y'all think we are, just like you.

• This one has to deal with me more personally, but I've realized that the reason why I always want pictures with people and post them on social media is because I like to show off my loved ones. But also I realized that I secretly wish that they will show me off too. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I'm bothered by it and sometimes I could care less because I'm used to it. I also came to the realization that those people who don't show me off because of my disability or whatever are not my true friends. Quick story time: Once I was at a club with my friends and one of my "friends" was taking a video of us dancing and that person purposely did not want me to show up in their video so when they were done videoing my friends, they aimed the phone up then over to avoid me. To say the least I was very hurt because I can't change being disabled and I felt like they did not accept me as I am. Too bad for them. Now I know that my true friends and loved ones will be proud and show me off because I know that I'm already nice and caring and that I know how to be a good friend.

Now I want to be more actively conscious of why I'm posting what I'm posting because I now know and am aware that I don't need to explain myself to anyone because this is the way I'm choosing to live my life. I don't need to keep questioning if I'm good enough for others or if I'm an good enough friend because I know I am. Also, I don't need to prove myself to anyone anymore , I'm just a girl who likes and deserves a nice lifestyle, who likes nice things, and who loves to hangout with her friends and drink socially, just like every 23 year old women out there. I am going to be more aware of why I'm posting because I want to be sure that I'm not proving myself to anyone but I'm not going to stop posting of my lifestyle, my true friends, or my fiance because if one person with a disability happens to see it and thinks to themselves, "Oh if she can do all that then I can too," then everything is worth it.

Comment section is open for questions/conversations.

Thank you for reading!

XO Ashley