I Am Not Your Inspiration Porn

Hello Beautiful People!

Before I begin explaining what exactly is inspiration porn, the true definition is "a portrayal of people with disabilities as one dimensional things that only exist to warm the hearts and open the minds of able bodied people." So in other words, it is non-disabled individuals saying that individuals with disabilities are inspiring just to make able-bodied people feel motivated/ feel good 'inside' by individuals with disabilities.

I bet you have all seen the meme of the little girl running along with Oscar Pistorius who has the same blade-type prosthetic legs and over the picture, it says “The only disability in life is a bad attitude. – Scott Hamilton.” If you have not seen this meme, I'll put it down below. Well, this is inspiration porn! Why? Because when non-disabled individuals see that meme, their first reaction is probably something like oh wow look she still smiling and then what they are probably thinking is she is still smiling despite having no legs. Somehow, non-disabled individuals view having no legs as a bad thing because they think that the little girl is unhappy so when non-disabled individuals see that she is not unhappy, they are amazed, therefore they call her inspiring. Which is completely wrong because the underlying message that this meme is giving is that individuals with disabilities are not defined by our disability. BUT, why the hell would I not want to be defined by what makes me who I am! It's because society still thinks of disability as a horrible and horrific thing that some people undergo. Society has it all wrong because there are many individuals with disabilities, including myself, that are perfectly happy with how they are and wouldn't wish to change themselves, even if given the opportunity.

There has been so many times when I would be at the gym, minding my own business, working out, and a random able-bodied person comes to me just to tell me I'm an inspiration or because they see me there, therefore they'll will try harder in life. Of course, I just go along with it and say thank you because I'm not there to educate people, I'm there to work my pretty little ass off and sweat! But honey, I'm not an inspiration just because I decided to wake up and go to the gym. If that were to be inspiring, than everyone who decides to wake up and go to the gym are inspirations. I and we, the disabled community, are not non-disabled individuals' motivational tools. Able-bodied individuals don't have that right to use us to help them feel better about themselves. There have been other times when I will be out drinking with my people and an random individual will come to me and say something like it is so awesome to see you out here, enjoying yourself and drinking as if I'm doing this amazing thing by being out with my friends when in actuality I was indecisive of what to wear, I took a shower, I did my hair and make-up, I took a few selfies of me looking fine as hell, I ordered an Uber and met up with my friends, just like EVERYONE ELSE.

We, the disabled community, are not being celebrated in and of ourselves, we instead are being used as a tool to guilt able-bodied people in trying harder in their life. People has asked me why is it so bad if an individual with disabilities motivates them to become a better person. First of all, because that's not their job to help you feel better about yourself. Secondly, has the individual with a disability actually done something inspiring or just because the individual with a disability is doing an activity that able-bodied people do all the time, then suddenly it is inspiring? Able-bodied people think that individuals with disabilities have so much more to deal with and maybe we do BUT we still do the same exact things as able-bodied individuals, just probably in a different way and so sorry to say but it's not inspirational, it is just us living our lives. Reducing a human being or even further a stranger, to "inspiring" or "brave" or any of those labels is problematic, because able-bodied individuals are filling in qualities that may or may not be true in order to make themselves feel better. It is just assumptions. It’s using disabled people as tools for their own betterment.

I'm not here to inspire able-bodied individuals. I don't exist to make able-bodied individuals' hearts warm and happy. I am a woman with a disability but in addition to that, I am a daughter, sister, a aunt, sister-in-law, cousin, niece, friend, and a fiancé. As a life partner, I need to do my part in my romantic relationship, such as clean the apartment, go to the grocery store and stock up on our food, pay bills, etc., and in my relationship with myself, I need to do everything to maintain my overall self-love and happiness, whether it's working out or just reading a book on the beach by myself. But none of this, is inspirational because we all do this in some way or another.

Tell me I'm an inspiration because I graduated college despite dealing with the struggles of the loss of my father, coming from a minority social group, and had many sleepless nights studying and finishing my work NOT because of my disability.

Tell me I'm an inspiration for adventuring because I went skydiving twice and had no fear NOT because I went skydiving and I'm disabled.

Tell me you are inspire by me because of the way I handle life's wild roller-coaster ride NOT because how I handle life with a disability.

Tell me you are inspire by me when you see me at the gym because you wish to gain the similar endurance as me NOT because I'm in a wheelchair and at the gym.

Tell me you are inspire by my good relationships with my people because it helps you see that you deserve the same NOT because I'm disabled and have good, healthy relationships with my loved ones.

I am defined by my disability and I love it because it is part of who I am but society needs to remember that there are so many other parts of me and every other individual with disabilities that makes us whole, not just the disability.

Last but not least, so many people are confused and even say it's a little "ew" that the word porn is attached to the word inspirational, well the reason why it is called inspiration porn is because it objectifies individuals with disabilities just like regular porn objectifies woman.

So, if you come across an individual with a disability, please don't automacially think they are an inspiration just because they're not miserable, get to know them, maybe you will find out how they actually inspiring or maybe you will find out how they are just like you and not really inspiring.

Be kind to one another! Thanks for reading!

Below is a link to a TedTalk about Inspirational Porn and it is one of my favorite videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxrS7-I_sMQ

This second link is about a woman with Cerebral Palsy, who is a comedian and just enjoying her life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buRLc2eWGPQ

Feel free to leave questions and comments down below or on my Facebook page! And if you want me to talk about specific let me know too!

XO Ashley